iHumility

The idea of perfection is a far-fetched notion of every unlikeliness, yet, I seek to follow the unrealistic ideal path that you have set before me, that leads to this way of perfection.  It is my esteemed honor to serve my Lord of the Light.  I set aside the past, I set aside humanity for what it is in its clinging to flesh and carnal and desire and sin.  I reject the promises of this world governed by the darkness.  I see only the world of light and life and love. This is the way that burns passionately as the golden compass to my spiritual heritage.

I wonder if I have enough strength.  I am unworthy, I am nothing but dirt.  I am made of this earth, then how do I reject myself.  This path leads me to ambiguity and uncertainty, then fear and doubt as I have not yet discovered the key secret of this way.  How do I live this way.  How do I attain perfection.  How do I gain the strength to be completely controlled and obedient and ordered and good.  How do I learn fortitude and discipline.  Perfection.  Is it even possible.  I strive for the impossible in order to prove that it is possible so that others may know the way also.  And I am the fist of a new sort, for in this way, I am the way, but I believe in it, even if no one else dares to.  I believe that it has been prepared for me that I should walk in this way to inspire this light and life and truth and love in others.

i am unworthy; distinctly imperfect and sincerely flawed.  i am very human and conflicted and my struggle is definite and polar and ambiguous.  i am war seeking peace.